By Tracy Packiam Alloway, PhD
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
— 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Despite research that tells us about brain wiring and happiness, you may have heard that happiness is a choice. I have said it to others and even to myself many times. But how do you choose happiness if your brain is working against you? Gratitude. It changes your brain when it comes to happiness.
Neal Krause, a researcher from the University of Michigan, asked 1,000 people about finances, depressed feelings, and gratitude. It turns out that having a sense of gratitude reduces depression by about 50 percent! Gratitude with religious or spiritual beliefs has a cascading effect:
- Taking part in religious events →
- The belief in God, a higher power in charge →
- Positive changes in gratitude →
- Increase in happiness
Why do we see this connection? Krause suggests that people who attend religious events regularly are more likely to feel grateful over time, compared with those who don’t. In part, attending a religious service enhances the belief that God is in control of events around you, which results in gratitude. And gratitude is a powerful way to buffer against real-life stresses.
Every morning I start my day with five minutes of gratitude. Some days it is directed toward someone, but other days, it is an utterance; words I say aloud to express what I am thankful for.
Dr. Michael McCullough from the University of Miami and his colleague found that a small action of gratitude can make a big impact on our mental health. They recruited 200 people and divided them into these groups:
One group was asked to: “Think back over the past week and write down . . . up to five things in your life that you are grateful or thankful for.”
Examples of gratitude expressions from the study include:
- waking up this morning.
- the generosity of friends.
- to God for giving me determination.
- for wonderful parents.
- to the Rolling Stones.
Another group was asked to “think back over today and . . . list up to five hassles that occurred in your life.”
Examples of hassles from the study include:
- messy kitchen no one will clean.
- finances depleting quickly.
- stupid people driving.
- doing a favor for friend who didn’t appreciate it.
Expressing gratitude results in feeling better about your life as a whole, as well as feeling more optimistic about the next week, compared to thinking about the hassles of the week.
Even a simple act of gratitude, like writing a letter of gratitude, changes the brain. A brain-scanning study found that expressing gratitude can train your brain to be more sensitive to being more grateful in the future. The researchers suggest that the more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it, which results in happiness. And these effects last! When the researchers brought the participants back in to the brain scanner months later, they still displayed the same brain activation patterns associated with gratitude three months later.
While it’s true that the female brain is wired uniquely to ruminate more, your brain can learn happiness by keeping it healthy, stopping it from getting stuck, and practicing gratitude. In some ways, happiness can be your choice.
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Adapted from Think Like a Girl: 10 Unique Strengths of a Woman’s Brain and How to Make Them Work for You by Tracy Packiam Alloway, Ph.D. Click here to learn more about this book.
Think your way to a more confident, successful you.
Women’s brains are different. It’s not one-size-fits both men and women. Yet many women still believe the myths we tell ourselves.
- Myth: Women make emotional decisions when stressed.
- Myth: Women suffer more from unhappiness than men.
- Myth: Women have to act like men to be effective leaders.
Dispel the myths! Stop underestimating your abilities. Stop downplaying your successes. And stop apologizing.
In Think Like a Girl, award-winning psychologist, professor, and TEDx speaker Dr. Tracy Packiam Alloway will help you discover how:
- sticking your hand in a bucket of ice can help you make a less emotional decision
- changing one word can provide a buffer against depressive thoughts
- adopting a more relationship-centric leadership approach can be better for mental health
Dare to think differently. Dare to think like a girl.
“In this fascinating book, Dr. Alloway gives women a blueprint to take advantage of that three-pound supercomputer between their ears.”
— DANIEL G. AMEN, MD, author of Change Your Brain, Change Your Life and co-author of The Daniel Plan
Tracy Packiam Alloway, PhD, is an award-winning psychologist, professor, author, and TEDx speaker. She has published fifteen books and over one hundred scientific articles on the brain and memory. Dr. Alloway shares her insights about the brain with Fortune 500 companies, and her research has been used in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and Bloomberg. As a teaching professor and in her private psychology practice based in Jacksonville, Florida, Dr. Alloway helps many women learn how to use their uniquely female brains to live their best lives.
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